Welcome! My name is Spencer. I am a husband, father, programmer, Christian, Star Wars fan, and I am a recovering addict.

I am in my late thirties and I spent majority of my life being enticed by sexuality. I was introduced to it when I was young and like any addiction its hooks were buried deep in my mind a heart. Pornography was my drug of choice and I could never get enough of it. I used every form I could get. At a young age it was the department store catalogs that excited me. That made way to swimsuit magazine, then pornographic material, and when I had access to the internet then there was no limit.

I married my beautiful wife 10 years ago and while it is the single greatest decision I have ever made, I made the mistake of hiding this addiction and baggage from her. I deceived her my letting her believe I had nothing to hide. It was 3 months after we were married that I was back in front of the computer, engaged in false pleasure. I remember the exact moment my wife asked me if I would look at pornography. At times I still can’t believe I had the courage to tell her of my addictive habit but it was that moment that I decided to seek recovery.

It has been 10 years of roller coaster sobriety and relapses. I felt as if I did not have enough self-control or desire to overcome my addiction. No amount of praying, church, or scripture took away my unhealthy sexual desires. I continually felt ashamed and worthless. There were times when I wanted to be out of my marriage so that I could lose myself in my addiction.

The tools for my freedom were given early in my journey of recovery, yet it took me 8 years to utilize them and take courage to use them in the correct way. As I look back I can see many things that I allowed myself miss out of, a lot of betrayal I caused. I regret many things in my past but I am grateful every day for my sobriety.

I hope to inspire others to take courage in walking the path of recovery. We may have been alone in our addictive bondage but the path to freedom takes a group effort.

Let us all rally together to free ourselves from addiction.

Spencer